change

I fully intended to embrace change this year, knowing that endings only bring new beginnings.

But change is hard. Letting go is easier for some people than others but for everyone requires a certain amount of courage and boldness and acceptance.

I am enjoying the last little bit of sunshine on what has been a lazy but lovely Saturday in my part of the world.

This has followed a pretty satisfying week. Two weeks into my very final semester of my journalism studying. In eleven weeks I will no longer be a student. I am feeling a little nostalgic about it.

I went to my first lectures and classes back last week after six weeks break and was very aware that they were the first of my 'lasts'. Last semester, last subjects in this degree, last first week back - with the new timetables, tute groups, new/fresh notebooks (all the fun, geeky stuff!).

I am so incredibly glad that I am present in these moments. I am going to milk every last bit of nostalgia and enjoyment (that I have been sadly lacking in for the last couple of semesters of study unfortunately!) out of these final eleven weeks at uni.

I hate having to do this when you are just here visiting my writings and hopefully enjoying your lovely self but I have something a bit crap to tell you: ze boy and I broke up (awkward, I know, what do you write in the comments?! Open pity is fine but please don't use the phrase 'left on the shelf' and if you have any single man friends..I'm not quite ready but give me time!)

It doesn't make it any less crap but it was mutual. It was something that we both felt was right for us at the time we made the decision and I still feel that, for me, this is how it has to be for now. Is that a little bit selfish? Yes and I am ok with that.

I don't feel like it is the end of our story though. The way I feel about him hasn't changed. I will talk around this and about this more in future posts I am sure because it has been a significant factor in my thinkings of late.

We said when we started our relationship that we would always try to have a positive effect on eachother's lives and I really feel like we've done that. And I hope we continue to. In whatever capacity that may be.

It hasn't been all calm acceptance and maturity, I have moments that are sad, angry etc. but overall I am just fine.

For now I am enjoying playing in cardboard boxes with my six year old brother, watching season three of Mad Men, drinking cups of tea and reading my long neglected collection of second hand book purchases.

I am enjoying dreaming about being a career gal (a la Peggy Olson!), about holding my fresh and shiny new passport in my hand and then about making said passport less fresh and shiny.

I'm thinking Vietnam....